hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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