I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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