I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
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