Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize