i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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