you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
