he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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