drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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