I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
