Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
