I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
