You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
