You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize