Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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