i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
