I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
