Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
