If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
