everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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