i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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