Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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