Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
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I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
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He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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