He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
