Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
