we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
