I wannas sexs uuuuu
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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