Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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