Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
