What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
