CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
