She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
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you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
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Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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