people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
