I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
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Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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