Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
