He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
