I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
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I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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