Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
