So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
