the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
