remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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