dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
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Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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