Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
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He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
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Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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