Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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