Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
