I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize