Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
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Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
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i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
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