Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I've blown a few things in my day
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
