Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
