Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
