He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Randomize
