Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
What changed your mind?
Being sober
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
