my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
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You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
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I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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