he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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