Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
