How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
