We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
sarcasm needs its own font
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
