You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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