I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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