whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
